yay, i got my comments to work after trying like fifty times, i am glad, i had switched over to my live journal for a while, but i think i would rather use this, it is more interesting. I like to know people care what i have to say. I dont know though. Like i said earlyer during the test, i am ready for school to get out. I am so sick of everything, im sick of my bad GPA and geometry kicking my butt. I just want to get it over with and move on with my life. Ill be driving this summer in which case i can do what i want instead of sitting at hoem by myself like i do now. In case you are wondering, and dont know, Azul del Cielo means blue of the sky, Mis amigos son todos de mi mundo. i lvoe you guys, all my love

i think things are finally starting to sink in, its starting to make sense and im accepting things. I cant wait for school to get over, and i cant wait for everything to get moving on with life, im sick thinking about things now

today i was told some news that really hit home hard. someone whom i knew died in a car accident, i am surprised at the fact that it doesnt bother me that i am going to be driving soon. it started to make me think, that i have been holding something against soemone that i love for no good reason, what happenes if something happened to this person and i never had the chance to tell her how much i loved her and admired her for everything she has ever done for me and putting up with me when i was little and always wanted to hang out with the big kids. I couldnt live with myself knowing this person never knew how sorry i was and how much i loved her. Most appaling than that is that this has changed the way i look at things, i can never look at anything the same, i think this has definately changed my way of thinkig for the better. Im worth it...for all of you that dont know, i have been extremely depressed lately, i tried a few things that i had done before, and now have visible scars to prove all of it, i realize now that despite what i may think, i am worth something to some people, they do care, and they do love me, and they always will and there isnt anything i can do about it. Considering that i havent told anyone about my new site yet, i hope to get the url out so people can tell me what they think, and just help me with the amazing abundance of pressure and weight i have on my heart right now. I know there are a lot of people who care a whole lot about me, but it is so hard to look at myself and see what they love, see what they see. I wish i could be someone else, and yet i never want to feel the way i feel right now ever again, broken and torn over someone i had talked to a few times, and only got to know her a little. I cant imagine having the burden of me hanging over the people that tell me that love me, i just cant imagine it, ill talk to you all later, please pray for this girls family, i know her younger sister and i cant imagine what they are going through, it must be the most horrible thing ever....i love you guys and im sorry, steph, please give me a call asap

wow its being dumb

everything is pretty good today, i saw megan but i didnt tell her about stuff, maybe she will comment and let me kno,but who knows

i dont have all that much to say right now, i had an interesting day at school and everyone was kinda interesting, got some interesting news/suggewstions and thats about it, not sure yet, still working out details talk to you all later

ok, so i am learning a whole lot about myself recently. Ive learned that if i do something that i didnt do on my own and could really not care less, then i hear, see, read, ect...something about this incident, it bothers me so bad i dont even know what to say. Ive also learned that as much as i know people think i open my mouth, i dont do it enough, feeling get hurt, and i keep my mouth shut and cry myself to sleep on acount of these feeling bottled up inside of me. I dont think the people that say, write, whatever these things realize the affect they might have, and sometimes i dont think anyone will ever know. I think i should just sit back and shut up, but how can i when i have so much to say. I know i should, but the thought of ever hurting someone i love, is unbarable. I feel like crap, i just wanna roll over and die