today i was told some news that really hit home hard. someone whom i knew died in a car accident, i am surprised at the fact that it doesnt bother me that i am going to be driving soon. it started to make me think, that i have been holding something against soemone that i love for no good reason, what happenes if something happened to this person and i never had the chance to tell her how much i loved her and admired her for everything she has ever done for me and putting up with me when i was little and always wanted to hang out with the big kids. I couldnt live with myself knowing this person never knew how sorry i was and how much i loved her. Most appaling than that is that this has changed the way i look at things, i can never look at anything the same, i think this has definately changed my way of thinkig for the better. Im worth it...for all of you that dont know, i have been extremely depressed lately, i tried a few things that i had done before, and now have visible scars to prove all of it, i realize now that despite what i may think, i am worth something to some people, they do care, and they do love me, and they always will and there isnt anything i can do about it. Considering that i havent told anyone about my new site yet, i hope to get the url out so people can tell me what they think, and just help me with the amazing abundance of pressure and weight i have on my heart right now. I know there are a lot of people who care a whole lot about me, but it is so hard to look at myself and see what they love, see what they see. I wish i could be someone else, and yet i never want to feel the way i feel right now ever again, broken and torn over someone i had talked to a few times, and only got to know her a little. I cant imagine having the burden of me hanging over the people that tell me that love me, i just cant imagine it, ill talk to you all later, please pray for this girls family, i know her younger sister and i cant imagine what they are going through, it must be the most horrible thing ever....i love you guys and im sorry, steph, please give me a call asap